I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
They have beer where we have blood.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
