What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize