i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
