My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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