Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Come on in and take your pants off
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
