Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
