He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
