Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize