she looked like the before picture.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize