Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
