Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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