Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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