what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
