I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
