Im at strip club and am horny
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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