Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
