i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
