i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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