Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You were trust falling into bushes
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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