considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
