evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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