there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
