I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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