You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
