Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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