Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
