i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
