sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Randomize
