you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize