I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Text me some of your sweat
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
