Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
