that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
