Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
