Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
