I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you didnt know i had herpes?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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