You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
