Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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