i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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