ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
