Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
