Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Farmville is her only friend.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
