Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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