I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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