i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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