If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
