We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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