i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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