so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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