hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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