He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize