Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
