I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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