i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
