I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
