I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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