He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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