i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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